BEAUTIFUL SENSE

the Weather

2011-08-12T16:24:00.000-07:00

There was some kind of lightning in my soul last night. My heart was ignited. Fire won me over.

There was a whipping wind that nearly blew me down, and yet... it proved me strong. Today I am more ...somehow.

There was much rain... and washing... and covering... and consoling. And wrenching of heart, wringing of hands. Wondering how to feel such shapelessness, sharp and dark and overwhelming. Nearly too much, but more likely just so perfect.

And it came seemingly without warning. I didn't see the clouds because I spared not the moment to look around and see...

the Weather forming.

Life by Appointment

2011-08-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

And then one morning I awoke to another ‘day in the Life’ with the thought…

‘The opposite of disappointment is…appointment.’

What??!? I had never considered this Truth, the now obvious, until I was literally awakened to a new understanding of, well, LIFE.

This mindset-changing statement, God-breathed and elevating, has turned my world inside out. It has the incredible power to establish rich freedoms within and without. It is a seed of encouragement to turn over the stone of disappointment and find the wonder of dignity and discovery in a life made on purpose. Redemption in real time.

What is.. LIFE? Is it our experiences…our perceptions…an upside-down-and-around-and-back-again ride of emotion… turmoil… victories? Is it simply the circumstances that we face? Or just the way things appear to be? Or is it ‘other’ than all of these things?

In the beginning, Life was. And this same Life that was, still is. And tomorrow…guess what?… it will continue to be. We all know the beautiful creation story. And we know intimately the disappointment of the fall. And this storyline that formed our alternative thoughts around the One True Life was created by ‘choice.’ Our choice to disagree with God…resulting in… dis-appointment.

But we, by the amazing Grace-gift of Christ, have been re-appointed to LIVE. To LIVE! And by our re-choice to receive abundant life instead of running from it, we no longer have to accept disappointment as our reality. It really is…our choice. No.matter.what.

There is no defeat or failure of expectation, no loss of hope, desire, or design. In pure Life, as defined by the reality that ‘GOD WINS,’ there is no frustration on earth that should ever be allowed to steal an ounce of the joy of this sweet salvation that happens in every moment.

I know full well that we can feel these things… and feel them deeply at times. I know that things don’t always look the way we think they should. I am no stranger to disappointment. In fact, I had made it such a lifestyle and had become so identified with disappointment that I was continually looking for more things by which to feel defeated. And I know many others who are now caught in these cycles because they don’t know another way. And so…I’ll say it again…

‘The opposite of disappointment is…APPOINTMENT.’

So…to what exactly are we appointed?

I’m reminded of the good words in Isaiah 61: ‘…God has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to announce that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of God’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. He gives beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, praise instead of despair.”

This is a fantastic starting place for understanding how God’s purpose will be fulfilled in us individually…and collectively. This is our intended lifemap.

And in order to be able to do all of this, we must become a living, breathingcelebration of the truly Good News; we must give our eyes to heaven-sight; and we must align our thoughts and speech with the Truth and only the Truth.

On any given day, disappointment might come knocking on our door. We have a choice. It might try to come in the back door. Even if it surprises us, we still have a choice. Just knowing that we have the choice is freedom. Turn the situation over. There’s always two sides to every story.

The more we make LIFE our choice, the more attention we give to ourappointment within it, rather than entertaining disappointment outside of it, the more fixed and settled and established we will be in our new and seemingly miraculous Life habits. Walking in appointment and purposesets things right…if you are willing to try something new, you will stand taller, live stronger every day. AND…it’s way more FUN! (I promise.)

There's still (time)...

2011-03-05T19:52:00.000-08:00

and this year, I'm going to spend more time being myself. Yes, I am.

Failure Does Not Exist

2010-11-28T08:10:00.000-08:00

Love sees us according to our destiny, not our history. So, if we can actively cooperate with that reality then we will see that failure does not exist, because the very Spirit of Creation is alive within us helping us apprehend that illustrious future-life.

If a certain decision ends up short of expectations then judgment calls it failure, but Grace calls it faith in action. If a certain strategy does not meet cultural standards then judgment calls it unsuccessful, but Grace calls it faith and initiative. If a line of thought doesn't adhere to normal philosophical rules then judgment calls it deficient, but Grace calls it faith and originality.

Failure does not exist! Love is bending over backwards to make every possibility possible for us. And Wisdom is screaming its desire to give unending help and direction.

Small Change

2010-09-13T13:11:00.000-07:00

There is no such thing as small change. Any change is always measured in epic proportions, because of the advancement that it can create. Momentum potential. Movement is agreement with the rhythm of life and by it's very nature disallows stagnation.

Living the DREAM...

2010-09-05T21:32:00.000-07:00

What will I be when I can realize
That I've got more than enough
That I am all that You've said

I wonder how long it takes to see the light
And know there's always more up ahead...

You say...I am worthy
You say...that You delight in me
I am...the one who bears Your glory
You died...and live...so I can

DREAM.

I remember crying while writing this first verse of song breakthrough. I am laughing and smiling through the second verse of celebration. I am. Living the dream.

The Wonder of Wings

2010-06-03T09:41:00.000-07:00

I had carried my heart like a stone on my back, heavy and immovable, packing the electric dreams like a steady reminder of solid potential fossilized and failing to explore.
Until one day I noticed the little wing sprouts emerging from within the rock heart.

The contrast of the feather softness coming right out of such burdened living was completely astonishing and made a ready believer out of me. Suddenly able and willing to accept 'the becoming' as the true real and the extraordinary as a way of life.

I wondered how I would fly with the weight of such a stony load, but as sure as I AM, those wings began to grow and change and with Almighty strength they cracked that heavy like lightning right down the middle.

Crumbling and crashing, the pieces fell far from me. And when there is no more waiting and you can't be held down, life follows it's instinct...ever and always rising. And there is nothing that can stand against the force of those wonder-wings...inside of you. Let's see what you got.

Counting...

2010-01-23T22:34:00.000-08:00

Counting stitches, counting stars, counting children, counting blessings, counting years, counting sheep, counting steps, counting victories, counting everything I can count. I've been counting my life. Every moment, everyday. But when I stop and try to count Love, the counting is done. There is only One... and He is more than the most of anything that can be counted.

Retroactive Grace

2010-01-13T07:46:00.000-08:00

Tell God what you need and thank Him for what He has already done...on your behalf...covering every perceived deficit. Retroactive grace.

I started writing a song last night while waiting for children to finish up at an acting class. Just a prayer declaration coming up a song..."I will not worry, no I will not worry, no I will not worry at all..." Unfinished, of course, and simply true. This has become the Way for me.

I've spent more of my life worrying than I have living. Worried about what people think of me, about where the money comes from, about how to be on the outside all that I feel on the inside, how to get it all right. Worried about how to love myself, how to keep everyone happy, what to make for dinner, how to be a friend. How to be whole, how to write a song...

I can rattle these things off so fast. And I could keep them coming. But it's not worth it.

Because...THERE IS NO LACK IN ME... BECAUSE THERE IS NO LACK IN CHRIST.

I LOVE how He paid for it all. I LOVE that I don't have to worry. I love that He's taking away the propensity. I LOVE the surety that I am discovering deep down inside of HIM.

If ever I start to be concerned about anything...I immerse myself in the complex simplicity of retroactive grace...God's ways are undiscoverable. But His riches are mine...body, soul, and spirit. He is the Beginning and the End. And everything in between.

I am COVERED in every moment and in every way. Hallelujah-backflip!

(And that is a monkey in that picture above)

An Extravagant Gift For Me and Everyone Else, too.

2010-01-09T23:25:00.000-08:00

I really like myself. This was not always the case.

Enjoy the Consequences

2010-01-09T20:27:00.000-08:00

Something happened inside of me this new year. So much deliverance and revelation through the holidays. Most of it didn't come easy. All of it has reframed my parenting.

I really love being a mom. I love having daughters and sons. I love the privilege. It is also something I wasn't prepared for. I'm sure that's the case with MOST parents on the planet. I missed all the lessons and was asked to do the homework. Huh?

My husband and I have followed the "joy- disciplinarian" path with our children...following the example of our stellar friends "the Johnson's" who have the best behaved and well-loved children we've ever known. AND...there's ten of them at last count. Those children know who they are. They are not afraid of it. They love God. And others. And they know how to have fun. Pretty much exactly what we want to see in our children.

I can't remember much consistency in my upbringing. Or feeling totally loved. I don't remember consequences ever making the point. And I certainly found my heart in a world of hurt as I was growing...resulting in a young adult who fell apart rather than flowered. My parents did the best with what they had to give. No fault aimed in their direction. It just became my responsibility to discover the roots of the unraveling and understand how to rewrite my internal script for living...and for steering and stewarding young spirits.

I don't come by this naturally. I'm leaning very far into Father to get it right.

So whatever shift has taken place in my heart lately, I'm noticing that I am calling the shots more. I'm not getting "worked" by my children. The peace that Christ made at the cross is really
the umpire of my days. I have come into a whole new thinking, almost like I'm remembering a firm foundation that I know wasn't laid in the natural, very supernatural. And yet, I'm remembering like it was always there. Strange.

I have tried to be strong and consistent in my discipline with my children. But then there was always 'this and that' and making excuses for some of their disobedience because I just felt sorry for them. I feel as though I've previously been operating under a tremendous amount of guilt in my parenting. Maybe I thought I wasn't worthy to administer discipline and assign consequences since 'I'm not perfect - Why should I require them to be?"

The deal is...I am perfect. I am sitting inside of I AM. And it is His authority that I parent with. He is FULL of compassion. He is also TRUTH UNMOVED. And my job just got easier.

So I've been following, listening in between the lines of our life. I've been asking, declaring the love of Jesus in our home. I've been faithing, holding to what I know that I know...and what this tree is producing at the moment is the ability to discipline my children without getting emotional (raising my voice)...consistency is coming through like breathing...and consequences are equaling the offense. I am in control, not them. Ah, yes. God has given us authority. I am finally and fully taking it on.

The most recent example happened when Merci (seven years old) didn't pick up after herself, leaving her favorite red fleece jacket and skinny jeans on the floor and disappearing. Instead of getting mad that she had done it again again again again again (she's definitely been the hardest to train), I just picked them up and put them in a giveaway bag like I have threatened to do so many times and just didn't have whatever it took to mean what I said.

The sky fell on Merci. That was the hard-hitting effect of a specific cause. She was able to see the sequence for the first time. She was able to feel the frustration that I have been feeling FOR HER all the other times. This happened in the morning.

Late in the afternoon, we were driving to an acting rehearsal and she said, "Mommy, can you be happy and mad at the same time?" I said, "Sure you can." "Mommy, I mean can you be mad that you have consequences and still be happy?" I told her that is COMPLETELY possible to make the CHOICE to be happy even when you may be mad because the consequences will cause you to make a better habit and give you a better life...one where you don't disobey because you know there's more 'happy' in obedience. Then she said, "So I can be smiling even though I won't ever wear those skinny jeans again and I'll miss that red jacket so much?" And my favorite answer to date that came out of my mouth...amazingly..."Merci, you just have to ENJOY THE CONSEQUENCES. They will lead to the good life. I promise."

A few days later...smiling...Merci reported that she's not mad at her consquences anymore even though she's not sure if she can ever 'enjoy' them. "Mommy, that's just plain silly."

But she got it. And I love it.

Reconnecting

2009-12-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

Why does it feel so difficult to connect with God sometimes?

Because fear is a shape-shifting obstacle, always making itself out to be bigger than it is. And because lies hold great sway in our hearts as long as we believe even a small bit of them.

But if we can sidestep fear and rejection for a moment and exist in a space of simple confidence - the middle ground between haughty and forsaken - to presume upon One whose very nature is a mystery...we just might find the other side of living. The kind of living that lights up EVERYTHING.

And if we can do it once we can do it again, and if we can do it multiple times we can establish a pattern in our journey that is cooperative with the benevolent Unknown.

from the other room...

2009-12-09T14:47:00.000-08:00

"Here it comes. Here it comes. The joy-life. Seeing the future. Running with power. OH YES! Here it comes. Here it comes. Your Kingdom here on earth...just as it is in heaven."

(Little people echoes...filling the space with Greatness. )

HERE IT COMES
(Todd Warren)

I'm never so much alive as when I'm dreaming HUGE...believing You for things
No one's ever seen before...no one every knew could be done
The Spirit just calls us on...Your Spirit just leads us into
The reality of the bright glory of
Your sons being princes...your daughters princesses
Your children knowing who they are
Your children moving with Your purposes

HERE IT COMES
HERE IT COMES
THE JOY LIFE
SEEING THE FUTURE
RUNNING WITH POWER

HERE IT COMES
HERE IT COMES
YOUR KINGDOM HERE ON EARTH
JUST AS IT IS IN HEAVEN

So here is our faith...small as a seed but bright as the sunshine
Here is Your power...our of Your kind, good intentions
We're not stopping...we're throwing all of ourselves into your faithfulness
You will not fail us...for You have finished everything needed
The truth renews our mind and our environment changes
And we'll stay right here until our destiny comes full force

Plan on it, baby.
Thanks Jones and Shiloh for singing Daddy's song on your own time.
I needed that.

The Door

2009-12-08T20:56:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that I saw Jesus today at the coffee shop.

Everyday banter with a stranger...bundling up and packing his books to leave...I say, "it's not getting any warmer out there." He says, with true grit, "yeah, I really feel for the ones on the street who don't have a home to warm up in." That was all.

He leaves. I watch him walk away. Hot drink in hand, I lead the child procession out the door into the five degree weather...weeping and wondering...tears freezing as they fall.

Comments and questions in the car on the way home center around, not our own comfort, but our welcome mat. Still wondering how to lay it down.

Timeless Christmas Cheering Section

2009-12-06T13:08:00.000-08:00

(from the archives...and just for YOU)

The brightest STAR in the heavens fell to the earth over two thousand years ago.

I wish I could've been there to CATCH IT...

to hold in my hands the G-L-O-R-Y of God that had fallen to fill our darkened world with LIGHT...

and to grace us with its illuminating Presence.

BUT I WAS NOT YET BORN.

It's beauty was beheld by all who had eyes to see its [value], and the lives of those who looked upon this WONDER OF THE WORLD were forever changed.

It was a sacred star, and though it faded out of sight for a brief moment in history...

it was destined to RISE AGAIN, return to the sky, and take its rightful place in the universe.

And so it did.

The story of its falling and rising has been told for centuries...

and those who have ears to hear come to understand the M-I-R-A-C-L-E of its significance.

For me, this moment of truth came when this very same STAR fell into my heart and touched my e.x.p.e.r.i.e.n.c.e.

At ONCE, I realized that these hands of FLESH could never grasp such a mystery...

but my SPIRIT caught it's essence...

AND I WAS BORN.

As I stare at the STAR on the top of my tree this Christ-mas, I am deeply reminded of the REAL LIFE that I have been given in Christ...

and the high calling to GIVE IT AWAY.

It is my privilege to share it with you, my friends, and to bless you with all the Goodness, Hope, Healing, Peace, Beauty, Faithfulness, Redemption, Passion for Life, Freedom, Joy, and LOVE...that Jesus has to offer.

MERRY CHRISTMAS & MAY GOD BLESS YOUR NEW YEAR!

And Another One for the Record...

2009-10-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

'We don't wait for breakthrough, we live in it. It is a decision to position yourself for sustained increase. It's living from heaven's reality, which transcends time, and putting full confidence in Father's good intention to fulfill his promises.'

(This was taken from a friend's status on Facebook today. They just keep coming. Breakthrough is not a destination or goal. It is not striving. It is not 'out there.' It is from within...internal to external and it ALREADY IS. HE DID IT!)

Now LIVE.

MATCHSTICK LANGUAGE FOR BREAKTHROUGH

2009-10-21T14:38:00.000-07:00

Breakthrough is not a stop-start effort or victory. It is the continuous exploration of the Goodness of God. It is the Truth that He IS...internalized. It is the seamless reality and representation of Christ at home in our hearts, resulting in super-love-abundance that animates and satisfies completely. Smooth.

RIGHT NOW

2009-08-28T08:12:00.000-07:00

Whenever my children ask to do something...some fabulous stream of consciousness thought that pops in and becomes the best idea they've ever had...they want to make it happen...RIGHT NOW.

Why not? I think that may be the best way after all.

I read a quote the other day that has stayed with me. Something about "the smaller your life becomes, the bigger it gets..." This moment... RIGHT NOW...takes the tiny-focus to epic proportions...because we welcome Infinity when we are completely present.

What are YOU doing...RIGHT NOW?

Long Lived Kindness

2009-08-24T14:36:00.000-07:00

Make it a practice to judge persons and things in the most favorable light at all times and under all circumstances. ~Saint Vincent de Paul

Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Be thoughtful of others and you will not be shy, for they are incompatible addictions. ~Robert Brault

There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the happiness bestowed by a small compliment. ~Robert Brault

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ~Leo Buscaglia

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. ~Charles Kuralt

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato

The best portion of a good man's life - his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. ~William Wordsworth

Kindness, like a boomerang, always returns. ~Author Unknown

Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how. ~Author Unknown

A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble. ~Charles H. Spurgeon

I love kindness. It's that "thing" in the eyes of Christ that I see first. It's the compassion... that covers and deeply cares and holds me here. I am love-locked. I will stay here forever.

And then I go and marry Kindness seven amazing years ago...and I get to live with a man who writes stuff like this...with his living...

A healthy perspective is that life is a together-journey. That as we love others our own self-worth is nurtured. That as we comfort someone in need our own needs are tended. So today, how can we consider someone else before ourselves and be a spark in their life that encourages them to live boldly? What specific thing can you do for that one person today that will water the seed of their true potential and remind them that an eternal, benevolent Being is on their side making all things possible and dazzling? -William Todd Warren

There comes that mysterious meeting in life when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be, igniting the circuits of our highest potential. - Rusty Berkus

Yadah!

2009-08-21T07:12:00.000-07:00

I have been working on a project on and off for about seven years. Between getting married, birthing four babies and taking care of the family, it has been a stop-start kind of progress. And finally, I can see the finish line.

The project is the development of a new art form...a holistic exercise/meditation program with body postures and movements based upon a specific theme. I can't give too many details right now as we are working on trademark and copyright. But I've had a lot of fun formulating these body positions and meditating on who God is in the midst of exercise.

If it sounds a bit like Yoga, it is. The deal is, I used to love doing yoga...I love exercising, stretching, calming, meditating. However, when I began to study the roots of Yoga, I realized that there had to be a redemption of it in God's thoughts. So I asked. And what followed was an amazing journey of excellence and revelation.

Needless to say, I'm excited about this. The expression is called Yadah which is one of the Hebrew words for praise. The meditations are not an emptying but a filling and are God-centered, focusing on openness and internalized Truth rather than self and nothingness (no-mind). No offense to those who practice Yoga. These are just my travels and experience.

About 4 months ago, my husband asked if I wanted to have another baby. I thought he was sooooo done. I've been the one that's been aching from the inside out for more (you know, the womb is never satisfied, right?). So I was surprised. But a funny thing happened...

Instead of jumping all over him in excitement, ready RIGHT NOW, I immediately said..."Wow, yes, I'd love to...but I have to finish Yadah first." It was like God was speaking through me and letting me know His order for things.

We set a timeline for the completion, the finish line indicating the beginning point for a try at baby number 5. I'm working each afternoon on the content and the last round of body postures. I don't fully understand how it will play out or how it will be released. But I do know this is something that I'm to produce that will be a blessing to all the earth. And I'm partnering with God to make it happen.

I was sharing the idea with an old friend I recently reconnected with and she really liked it. Within months, she had asked me to present Yadah in a session at a conference next June. And I'll be starting some experimental classes here in Denver in the spring.

Balance, order, and form. God's Word brings order. His Spirit creates form and causes things to take on their intended shape. Balanced living is the result. I'll keep updating.

Grace-In-Action Star

2009-08-19T08:20:00.000-07:00

This is our beautiful new bunny-love. We call her Gia-Star. I really like rabbits...but this one is different. This will be our mommy bunny. We don't have a daddy yet, but I'm intending to begin a breeding project with the children. So we'll get one soon. And we'll start small. The return is a SURE THING. I want to allow these young spirits to see creation and increase in a new way... forcefully ADVANCING. We named her Gia (for Grace- In- Action) and I am sure she will SHINE... since rabbits have no trouble doing their thing...

This is our spiritual journey as well...in our home. The learning and the re-learning how to live inside of Grace...how to sow it, how to reap it...how to see through it...how to fall deeply in it. It never stops. It continuously multiplies itself in us, through us, around us. It is the covenant that Father keeps. It is new LIFE in every moment.

And the only thing that can thwart its progress is stepping back under the old way of rules and regulations and judgment and have tos and shoulds. Ugh! Nothing is birthed in that environment except a bunch of dark clouds. Once HAVING to live that, now SET FREE to en-joy my days with an all-access pass into heaven's kingdom of celebration. It is GOOD NEWS after all.

Remember? Day 3

2009-08-17T21:15:00.000-07:00

Hey, remembering is a good thing. Let's go another round...

Remember the sparkles and sunshine and falling stars, the feathers and happy-dances and visions for days. The oceans of hope and desire and the mountainous passion that God breathes into our dreams... that create momentum in our spirits for flying . The miracles and the magnificence... The magical melodies that weave through our life-song. They are still ringing out loud and clear. Hear them now? (Listen...)

Remember the brilliant Word spoken that created everything that we see...and the undertones and the overtures contained in that One Word. And remember? Our hearts were formed by that Word, too. And it's THAT Word that gives them wings.

Remember that He doesn't forget. He goes behind and before. He must REMEMBER the future. He is timeless...and even still, He stepped into time to help us out...so we could jump into His shoes and try timelessness on for size. Who thought that one up? GOD DID!

Remember what an amazing thinker He is? And how all His thoughts are perfection? And He says we can have His thoughts if we will believe that we can. Glorious.

There's a verse in the Scriptures that says, "Let heaven fill your thoughts." I don't think that means throw yourself into the future and think about how amazing life will be in the after. I think it means we should let Heaven fill up our mindspace and take OVER so that we are constantly in the flow of life-giving, mind-altering, earth-shaking, breath-taking Abundance...right NOW. It takes that kind of thought to make a difference. It takes a multitude of those kinds of thinkers to change it ALL.

Remember how He called you by name to be one of THOSE people? Or if you can't remember that...maybe it's happening right now. Christ in you the hope of glory. Remember?

Hugenious! Hooray! NOTHING is lost. All can be found in HIM.

Remember? Day 2

2009-08-11T14:28:00.000-07:00

Remember the countless times God has come to the rescue...just in time? A Hero in flight...never giving up. Making sure that those who trust and wave that faith-flag get His attention every time. And even for those who can't raise their arms, I am sure He probably imagines them flying some invisible faith with super-vibrant colors in hope. He's creative and helpful like that.

Remember the spontaneous praises that produce lift-off and ignite us again and again. He is always deserving, fully present, never stopping, forever loving, our Eternal Home. He is safety. He is shelter. He is trustworthy and True. He is the Fresh Force of Faith working itself into our lives daily in order to produce the pure Goodness that shines like diamonds. The Goodness that cannot help but multiply itself...bringing Increase from the inside out. God is gorgeous!

Can we forget that kind of Beauty? I don't think it's possible.

Remember?

Remember?

2009-08-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

Remember God? How He is always there. How He never leaves, not ever. How He cannot fail.
How He loves and loves and loves and loves and loves. And how He searches and doesn't stop until he finds. And how He collects hearts and fragments and pieces and puts them back together and it seems like He's just mending something that's been broken...but when He puts in that final piece, it will not only be complete. It will be new. And how He promises so many good things... and because He is the Author and Finisher of those promises, there is no way we will be disappointed.

And the soothing and the comfort and the hope along the way. Remember that?

Will He ever stop doing good? He can't! He is only good. There is no darkness in Him, no lurking disdain or disapproval. He sees us as we are and accepts... and yet there is this overlay of purity and perfection that He places upon us. And He sees us through that filter. And it's so beautiful. He is filled with happy thoughts and oh how much He delights in His children.

Remember.

Truth in Tow

2009-08-07T22:34:00.000-07:00

I have this friend who seems to always have the right answer at the right time...just when I need it. She is a kindred-spirit, a life-giver... she is a woman who is ready in and out of season to offer hope with words, faith without fail, and who seems to have Truth in her pocket perfectly fit for any and every situation. I definitely want to be like her when I grow up.

She always pulls up an imaginative heaven-scene...a visual dictionary, if you will...that further aids in driving the truth to its destination and giving it a home. The gift of the great See-ers runs through her veins. And I am the blessed receiver.

Most of us are caught in a belief-web specifically designed for us by the Destroyer, the Deceiver, the Death-Weaver. The enemy of our souls spends all his energy and purpose trying to prevent us from understanding who we really are, what we were created for, and how we should be living. It produces everyday wreckage...and we call it normal. "This is just life, the way it is."

We have brilliant minds capable of comprehending what is possible, what should be. And yet...the thinking and the knowing are two very different things. The implementation escapes us somehow.

There are these "background singers" that really run the show inside of us if we are not carefully conscious and fully aware of our Being. We, living in the spotlight of our lives, can be singing of greatness and continuous lovedrifts...while these subtle show-stealers get the best of us. And most of the time their steering goes unquestioned while we lay down in submission to... less -than -desirable life circumstances that present themselves as if in answer to the "song of the subconscious."

No one is immune to this. We are a cracked and fragmented lot of humanity in need of a Savior... in need of Truth to invade our inmost being and multiply itself exponentially until every last fire-lie is extinguished.

So I'm revealing a bit of mixed-up history to my sweet friend a few days ago. I'm unpacking my pain and a few bitter remnants for show in hopes of some healing. And she says, "So...we need the Truth to cover the Untruth that you've been living...and then you can get to the Goods." I could never recount how many times I've been at this intersection. It is the Cross in real life, in slow motion, and with heavy traffic all at the same time. And each time I pass this way, I am an amateur driver with slow reaction-time and very little re-call of former lessons. I need to be reminded once again that Truth covers Lie like "paper covers rock." God wins. It's as if I'm a child again trying to grasp a new concept, just trying to learn my spiritual abc's.

And I think that makes perfect sense. Returning to the child-like place where the heart readily receives WHATEVER it is given... seems the ONLY way to recreate a life.

The "background singers" get replaced. And if they try to echo a refrain in the distance, it cannot be heard above the angels singing for joy. I can LIVE in the light... where the truth has been branded on my soul like a tattoo. It becomes my life-message. With or without words, I carry Truth in Tow and the very essence of Christ going before and following behind me.

Listening

2009-08-06T19:54:00.000-07:00

When we listen, we learn how to speak and act upon what we're hearing...from the inside out.

It's one of the ways I help my children learn how to read. We do these phonemic awareness exercises that help them learn to really listen to sounds and discover how all things work together. If we pay attention and bring our focus into the present, it can help us gain understanding. We get used to hearing certain noises in our daily life and learn to tune them out. But every one of the parts has purpose. They are constant and significant. And each sound is a pathway to wisdom.

In the same way, God is speaking to us. In a whisper, sometimes in a shout...speaking life and abundance and encouragement to our hearts...in every way...in every moment. We must learn to be still and listen. We must be brave enough to hear God's story and perspective for our lives. He has good plans and strong strategies for living that he wants to empower us with. We gain confidence, and our creativity and resolve are multiplied by hearing His words.

The reason most people don't listen is they're afraid of what they will hear about themselves. I can promise you that the Voice that spoke us all into existence has perfect thoughts about you. They are beautiful and extravagant...and they never stop believing in your Holy Potential. If you have trouble hearing this kind of Goodness at first-sense, listen again. Listen behind the noise and all the mind-chatter. Listen for the truest kind of Truth about who you are... from the Voice that can never be silenced.

Turn your ears on. It's worth the risk. Right now. And forever.

Worth

2009-03-06T08:45:00.000-08:00

Everything that I am is VALUABLE. Everything that I do is PRECIOUS.

Everything that I say is IMPORTANT. Everyone that I touch is GOLDEN.

What is your WORTH? I'm guessing it cannot be told...

From the archives (journal Dec 2007)

"A few weeks ago I was drawn into a vision where I was covered up with what looked and felt like hardened dirt, grime, caked on, layers thick that I was actually wearing like a suit. I had the sense that God wanted to take off the dirt suit and reveal a new me. The knowing was that I had been living with this earth-dirt-suit for my entire life and once and for all God wanted me to be clothed with something else entirely.

This vision has been continuous since it began. I am constantly aware that God wants to finish the unveiling. He started with my left hand. He took His hand and touched my fingertips with His right hand. The dirt and caked on layers (on my fingertips) instantly melted away into nothingness and when He pulled His fingers away from mine I noticed the letters W-O-R-T-H on each of His fingertips. Then when I looked at my own fingertips I had the letters imprinted on my fingers in such a way that they felt ink-wet and I knew that they would always remain that way so that whoever I touched from then on would know their worth (would be imprinted) the way I had just experienced it...with a greater anointing and power than I have ever known. Everytime I hug someone or touch anyone, from inside I hear the sound of chimes (it almost sounds like a wave of the magic wand sound from cartoons and movies). And since I have never been an affectionate person, I'm finding it really amazing that I want to touch and hug everyone that I see. Jesus continues to uncover and to reveal as I am ready. It seems as though it could take as long or as short a time as I want it to. But it also seems as if I'm outside of time in these days. So it's not a focus. What I am focused on is the vision-like reality of my life right now. This is not the charismatic, spirit filled experience that I have known for awhile now. This is sustainable, and reproducible and incredible with no break in my experience of His presence.

So...I've had a lot of supernatural experiences since day one of my encounter with Jesus. This one is different. It's a newness that cannot be explained. I'm just gonna go way out here and say that it feels like I'm getting a new body to live in, a glorious one without limitation. I'm not tied to this thought, I'm just saying what it feels like. It is pure bliss...and I can't contain it. It's getting harder and more difficult to have the wrong responses to situations and what's in front of me. The struggle is fading away. The sun is up all the time. It feels like I'm hanging out in the transition from glory to GLORY with only moments to Christ's return."

Everything that we are is VALUABLE. Everything that we do is PRECIOUS. Everything that we say is IMPORTANT. Everyone that we touch is GOLDEN.

Believe.

2009-03-04T21:08:00.000-08:00

I live more fully when I'm writing. When I'm not writing, I may not really be living at all. So I'm writing. I can feel the pull of darkness...I am moved by the strength of light. I am caught in a waterfall of sudden blessing and rapid healing...falling to the deep...surrender in my bones.

Nobody Told Me How Amazing

2009-01-28T17:43:00.000-08:00

The horse. My entire life I've never understood the fascination that A LOT of people have with horses. I just never got it. Until about a month ago...

Over Christmas, at a ranch down in Texas, I got to really ride a horse for the first time ever. I was exaggatively afraid to get on. But I was promised it was an easy 45-minute trail ride and everything would be fine. My niece Bessie was the coercive force behind me saying "yes." She wasn't afraid. Why should I be?

Oh my...it was crazy amazing. These beautiful creatures. All this power underneath you. The trust and friendship that is formed between human and horse. I feel like a kid again just thinking about horses now. What service animals. They have served and served people for so long. They just remind me of Jesus. How He lives to serve us. How he loves to befriend us and move us in His power with strength and grace. At whatever pace we can handle or is needful. I'm in love with the horse...and if this post is just plain sappy, ask my husband. I am all sap when it comes to horses these days.

He took me to a dancing horse show the other night. Again, amazing. I was filled with such emotion when the white horses came out. Something about it all. Can't wait to ride again.

And surely if people can train those horses to do the cha-cha-cha, etc., I can train one to poop outside. Then it could be an indoor/outdoor horse. That would be kind of fun(ny). And I'll probably try it someday.

Breakthrough

2008-12-21T15:06:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...

I thought I knew what this word meant. I mean...

I had a short reach on it in my mind...

but when I was trying to explain it to a friend today...

I knew there was more to be discovered.

Breakthrough. We see it in the dawning light. We see it when babies are born. We see it when a seed sprouts up through the ground...and when the waves break on the shore. We feel it when there is a change of heart. We see it when that change of heart becomes a life turnaround. We know it when something heavenly is revealed to our hearts and that truth becomes a part of us. We see it in a miracle. When brokenness is made whole...or when disease is reversed. We see it in the Bible when God parted the waters and the people walked through on dry land. And when lack was turned to abundance in Jesus rockin' display of his Father's Kingdom of Increase where he turned water to wine and a few loaves and fishes into a feast. Breakthrough.

And then there are the examples that hit closer to home...like my brother returning from a 2 year unexplained estrangement and coming to the family Thanksgiving dinner...and the way we have been able to receive God's gifts to us this year like never before...and the way I am learning to actively love and honor my children with my time and attention and extend friendship to them. And my "good days" mentality is dissolving into another language called grace. And the extended moments in busy seasons where I have learned to linger, to really see people, and to be present...those are multiplying with heaven-speed.

The Hebrew rendering of "break" carries a liberating message...to break, to free, or to deliver.

And the word "through": from end to end, or from side to side; from one surface or limit to the opposite; over the whole surface or extent; from beginning to end; to the end; to the ultimate purpose. Seems that breakthrough is bigger than I imagined it to be by definition. It's all-encompassing freedom and deliverance. Right now. I guess my mindset has been an obstacle course of freedom sprints moving from one area of breakthrough to the next... and my focus has weighed more heavily on the desire for breakthrough and the incremental victories than on the fullness and enormity of salvation already IN CHRIST.

He broke it all. When he got up from being dead, Jesus did it. Once for all. Finito. He became our Breakthrough. He became our Salvation. He became our Deliverance.

So this morning I heard a recording of that old worship song...Holiness, holiness, is what I long for...Holiness is what I need. And there's a verse in there somewhere about ...brokenness, brokenness...is what I need. Really? Seems that without an understanding of who I AM, I am just a bag of brokenness, living from a completely fractured heart of hurt and angst. Yes, I understand we must all come to a realization that we are THAT broken (in need of regeneration) at one point in time. And then... there's the turning and the returning to wholeness. BUT...it's Christians that sing that song in worship. That was me still singing songs like that even a couple of years ago completely believing that I needed to reach a more broken/contrite state to be accepted and loved. Whoa. When I started understanding that that wasn't an appropriate spirit stance anymore (now that God has declared me righteous in His Son), I ran the other direction. It is not God-honoring for me to continue to declare something that is IN THE PAST. I'd certainly rather live in the truth, declare the truth over my life, move in the power that comes when heaven and earth agree.

Brokenness is not part of the vocabulary of heaven. It's not even in the dictionary. Breakthrough, on the other hand, is fully in there. And you know what the definition is? Simply...Christ. It is His breakthrough in our place that allows us the freedom to live and move and breathe and dance and thrive and joy and love as He intended. And I'm starting to think I've been missing out on the plunge into life by thinking that I have to "work through" so much "stuff" to get into the clearing. Maybe it would just be easier to realize Breakthrough is NOW and just be okay with that and let go of the maze-crawling creep into freedom. It is ALL-ENCOMPASSING, ALL FOR ME, ALL FOR NOW. I'll take it.

Thaaaaaaaaaankful!

2008-11-28T08:39:00.000-08:00

Another happy holiday has come and gone like lightning. We had a houseful of friends and family. Too much food, of course. It was a beautiful day of doing things differently. And the fridge of full with the promise of satisfied appetites for the next week. I will take a vacation from meal planning and prep. I love that.

I think Thanksgiving doesn't get the attention that it really deserves. If "thank you" is the password to enter God's gates (and it is...confirmed by those who believe it and those who don't know that's what's happening), then it seems like a day of celebration around gratefulness should go on for at least a month like Christmas does. Don't you think? It needs to make the imprint and take influence over all the grumbling and complaining that seems to come right after the turnover of the new year (so easily).

Our family has recently landed on a prayer/declaration that we gather around almost everyday. I thought I would post it here. It has been a journey to even be able to speak this out with such conviction...so the daily rehearsal has become such a joy around here. We are seeing new things happen all the time as we are believing for more. I'm learning that the kingdom of God is about increase...multiplication...exponential solar flare. This truth is making a home in our hearts. And I am grateful. So here it is:

WE MAKE IT OUR BUSINESS TO REMEMBER WHAT GOD HAS DONE AND TO REJOICE IN WHAT HE IS DOING. WE SPEND NO TIME WITH COMPLAINTS OR EXCUSES (THAT IS THE LAND OF DARKNESS). WE REJOICE IN GOD'S GOODNESS! IT'S HIS GOODNESS THAT PERPETUATES HIS ABUNDANT FAITHFULNESS. HE ACTUALLY CANNOT BE ANYTHING BUT GOOD.

WE REFUSE TO TAKE OFFENSE AT GOD'S DOING OR HIS NON-DOING, OR AT HIS PACE AND TIME FRAME. HE IS ALWAYS GOOD AND ONLY HAS GOOD INTENTIONS TOWARDS US.

WE DECLARE THE INCREASE OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD OVER OUR LIVES - OUT LOUD AND CONSISTENTLY. WE ADAMANTLY REBUKE THE LIES OF DARKNESS, POVERTY, AND INSUFFICIENCY. WE PROCLAIM THE JOY AND LIFE-FORCE OF THE SPIRIT OF CHRIST JESUS OVER OUR LIVES AND INTO PHYSICAL REALITY. WE ARE ROYAL PRINCES AND PRINCESSES OF THE KING OF GLORY; WE WILL ACT AS SUCH AND HOLD FORTH GREAT EXPECTATION ACCORDINGLY.

WE DO NOT ALLOW SELF-DEPRACATING LANGUAGE OR BERATING BEHAVIOR. WE ARE NOT NEEDY OR DESPERATE. WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN ALL WE NEED FOR LIFE AND GODLINESS IN CHRIST JESUS. WE HAVE BEEN BURIED WITH HIM IN DEATH TO OLD NATURE AND OLD ALLOWANCES, AND WE HAVE BEEN RAISED WITH HIM IN LIFE AND GLORY, AND WE HAVE BEEN SEATED WITH HIM IN HEAVENLY REALMS FAR ABOVE ALL RULE, PRINCIPALITIES AND DOMINION. WE ARE THE LIFE OF GOD IN THE EARTH! WE ARE THE KINGDOM OF GOD COME!

WE ARE ABUNDANTLY WEALTHY BEYOND IMAGINATION. AND WE WILL PERSISTENTLY AND VERBALLY DECLARE THIS REALITY - THE SPIRIT REALITY OF THE GLORY OF GOD - UNTIL IT IS MADE PHYSICAL REALITY IN OUR LIVING.

WE ARE BLESSED SO THAT WE CAN BE A BLESSING TO EVERYONE WE TOUCH, EVERYONE WE SPEAK TO, EVERYONE WE SING OVER - DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY. OUR CHILDREN ARE BLESSED, OUR GENERATIONS ARE BLESSED. THERE IS NO END TO THE INCREASE OF GOD'S KINGDOM IN US.

The Bath

2008-11-17T21:15:00.000-08:00

Oh how I love a good bath.

As often as I can, I take them long and hot.

Lots of lavender, ginger, body scrub, inflatable pillows, bubbles, candles, a good book.

I'll stay there until the water is cold, if there is time.

It's interesting to me just how different the motivation for bathtime is for kids.

They love a good bath just as much as I do.

HOWEVER...their idea of a good time is lots of toys and noise and splashes all around...screaming and squirting and bath paint on the porcelain. And then the last hurrah when someone flips on the shower head and it thrills the bigs and freaks the littles. Oh joy!

It's hilarious. And in my mind there was nothing relaxing or soothing about it. Or was there?

They're probably wondering why I make bathtime so boring and dull. In their little heads, are they thinking that this is the fate of the bath? A most sacred event of fun must finally surrender to a sleepy ritual?

The other night my two year old was still awake at 10:00pm. She must have taken the looooong nap that day (I can't really remember). But she was there and I was ready to wind it down and take a bath. So I run the water all nice and steamy, light my candles, and grab my book. I was thinking she would just play with my makeup or keep flushing the toilet for sport while I enjoyed "my time." Oh no. Not ever.

Little Violet saw what I was doing, laying there all quiet and sinking in deep, and she ran to the other bathroom. She brought back the bucket of bathtub toys and started throwing them in on top of me. "Toys, mommy." She brought me the kid bubble bath and said, "Bubba, mommy?" Then she turned the water on cold and poured the soap into my area creating "bubbas." Then she took a paintbrush from her toy bucket and started brushing my hair with it...top to bottom, front to back, side to side. Then she proceeded to dip the brush into the soap and started painting my body with it. By this point, I was fully in. She had me at "toys?"

The life and energy that is inside of these little people is crazy. So necessary.

The next time I get ready for a bath...I'll have a decision to make. I might just choose toys.

The Vacuum and the Violin

2008-11-14T15:39:00.000-08:00

My favorite new toy to play with in my new house on my new carpet is... Our first real vacuum cleaner that works like a charm...Simplicity. It was designed by a woman and moves like a real person. I would never buy any other, but apparently I won't need to because it's made to last a lifetime. I'm hooked. And I use it everyday. Sorry no advertising pic.

Something else I use everyday is my violin. How anyone can get through the beginning stages of playing the violin is a mystery. All the squeaks and note bending filling the air. My contribution to the noise of life. At least it's joyful. I love it.

Why Does His Face Look Like That?

2008-11-13T19:47:00.000-08:00

Just to give you the backfacts...our family does not eat sugar. Our children have never had it. We read every label with a microscope and we're pretty much psycho about not letting processed white sugar into our life. Our children make us really proud when people offer them candy, etc. and they turn it down without hesitating, whether we are watching or not. They know the whys and the wherefores and wonder why anyone else wants to ever eat the stuff. Blah blah...moving on...

We arrived at home today from a long walk in the beautiful fall weather. A man was walking along the sidewalk in front of our house with a grim expression and much beer in his hands. My oldest daughter Merci (who actually is not that old really) said, "Mommy, why does that man's face look like that?" And I said, "Like what? Like sad or mad or something?" And she said, "Yes. His face is all twisted up. I'm sure he eats sugar." Of course I had to laugh about that way down deep. And then she added..."or Mommy, maybe he just doesn't like himself very much and he doesn't know how much God loves him and it makes him so sad." Quite the insightful observation for a five year old.

This is the journey to understanding and wisdom. This is the road marked with suffering. And compassion is always close at hand.

May that man be awakened from a long, deep sleep to know how high and how long and how wide and deep is the Love for him. Good Spirit, hover and whisper and shout how you feel about him in a way that he can receive it. Jesus, personalize yourself to him right. Meet him in the deep dark angry places that just need a little lovin'. And the next time we see him as he walks the sidewalk in front of our house, may he have the happiest of all faces. Yes.

Crafted Prayer

2008-11-12T19:04:00.000-08:00

Somewhere in time, my husband and I read and studied on a subject called "crafted prayer." Most of what we read was written by a man named Graham Cooke. I think the whole concept of crafting/scripting prayers around specific themes and agendas in your life is really cool. You listen for God's heartbeat for something that you're focusing on/needing an answer for/requesting of Him...and you write down what you hear. Some thoughts may trickle down over an extended period of time and settle into a groove that you now have a record of. You can pray this prayer until you find clarity and feel peace. And then move on to crafting the next one.

Right language is really important. It's well worth the time to listen for exactly what it is you are trying to express; and to hear Father's answer in the midst of all the words. Writing stuff down is always a good idea. Combine that with listening inside as the Spirit speaks and you've got a clear path.

Recently, Todd encouraged me to get started crafting a prayer about something in our life. It was specific to his personal journey. And though I pray for him like breathing, I thought it was an interesting opportunity to practice again with intention. So I begin my listening homework for my husband tonight. I'll report the progress.